The Real Game of Management?

By James D. Tippett

Snippets of Real World Management knowledge

The following is a random collection of some of the most effective management techniques I have come across. Surprisingly they are often left off the agenda at most documented management training sessions. These techniques are often learned or acquired by managers as they claw their way to the top. There is no particular order of importance although some may be used more by certain managers depending on their status and position.

1. Use another manager to verify your results or your opinion, preferably a manager that reports to you, that way your opinion will most likely be upheld.

2. To exert influence, study some mundane un-important aspect of the business. Continually berate employees for not knowing about them. Talking to them like they are children also helps to keep them off guard and weaken their morale and self confidence, making them need you more.

3. Have daily conferences with your direct reports and ask them the same questions repeatedly, such as “What did you sell today? How much work do you have? Or, what are you doing next week?”

4. Manage by memo. Critical policy or procedural changes should always be communicated by e-mail. When the e-mail is unclear, and questions are raised, you can ask “Did you read the Memo?” This saves you from having to explain yourself, after all a lot of thought went into that memo.

5. Become an expert in the distribution of false or irrelevant information intermingled with the really important stuff. It will keep them off center and it will make you look more intelligent as you point to the important stuff that they should have been paying attention to. After all, it was right there in the e-mail.
   

6. Give additional weight to issues that are relatively minor to the bigger picture. Aka minutia. It will also keep your employees off guard. After all, happy employees are always asking for raises. If you keep them off guard they will be in constant fear for their job.

7. Succession planning – never look to promote or groom someone who you think will do better than you did; it will make the memory of you less monumental. The key is to get someone into your position that will really screw it up, making you look that much greater. Besides, why should you care about succession planning, when you won’t be there anymore? Lack of succession planning also makes your legacy live on since it will be more difficult to find your replacement.

8. If things are going too good, everyone will expect raises or promotions. If you are not a public company, do everything you can to downplay financial success, and by the way, leave the Ferrari at home.

9. Always speak in statistical terms as statistics can be easily manipulated to tell any story you want. It is an art, so learn well.

10. The higher the unemployment rate the worse you can treat your employees. Use the unemployment rate as your abuse gauge. Communicate statistics related to high unemployment frequently throughout the organization. Once the unemployment rate starts to drop, use statistics to focus on another element of the economy that is not doing so well.
    

11. Always know how the rumor mill works. Do this by letting a seemingly juicy nugget of false information out to different people. Watch how it flows through the organization. Document this network as it will be invaluable to you.

12. Seek to divide and conquer. I cannot stress enough how important it is to keep your employees off guard. If you observe employees becoming too close, it is time to spread some rumors, dole out some undeserved favoritism, or switch up some assignments.
    

13. Open door management. One of the more annoying business tends is to have an “Open door policy”. But if you manage it properly it will work to your advantage. By allowing employees to confide in, share, or raise concerns with you, you can look for opportunities to better manipulate and control them. Most of the time these open door encounters are simply an attack on the policies that you have worked so hard to develop, in effect making it a personal attack on your integrity. After all, if they had the right answers, they would be in charge, and you have worked too hard to let that happen. Open door policies also allow you to identify the whiners and can expand on the divide and conquer mentality by making the employee appear to be a snitch or suck up. Trust me; they will soon opt to keep their mouth shut. If they really don’t like what is going on, they can find another job, and we would all be better for it.

14. If you must ask employees for their opinion give employee surveys. The timing of any survey is critical. Make sure they coincide with a positive event in the organization like raise time or shortly after the giving of the annual bonus. No raises? Opt for after the summer picnic, turkey hand out or Christmas party then. No picnic, turkeys, or parties? You should really reconsider the employee opinion survey. You should already know the answer.

15. Before an anticipated layoff, prepare by creating disciplinary actions that result in letters to the file. Warning letters for any element of performance can result in termination for cause and eliminate the need to pay severance.
16. Beware of giving praise. Praise simply inflates egos and their feeling of self worth. It will be much more difficult to manipulate and control someone if they have high self esteem. You will not get stellar performance, but your dominance over the organization will be unquestioned. If you do feel compelled to give praise give it for something not related to work, like their spouse, some clothing item, or the unique design on their coffee mug.

17. If a direct report is on the verge of something really innovative, arrange for them to travel overseas to take care of that important issue in the Sudan. By the time they get back, you should be solidly identified as the innovator of the idea.

18. If you want to get to the top you need to want it above all else, why worry about anything else when there are so many good divorce attorneys and child rehab centers out there. This is your chance, go for it!

I am sure you can continue this list with many of your own experiences. Please feel free to do so at my blog - http://imokyouarenot.blogspot.com/

Lastly, adopt these “need to be used” phrases to project an image of importance and knowledge. By using these terms you can lull even the most onerous uprisings.

-We need to think about sustainability.

-We need to be sensitive to diversity.

-It is what it is

-Let’s level set

-Let’s circle back around

-Let’s close the loop

-Let’s be sure we are on the same page

-Let’s agree to disagree.

-Let’s move forward

Using the word “Let’s” instead of “You need to”, before anything has a calming effect. It also projects a simulated sense of connectedness.

Don’t believe me? Try any of this at work. If nothing else you will get a kick out of everyones reaction to your new found cutting edge management style.